It was a similar thing with coming out as asexual a few years ago-exploring that community online was a major lightbulb moment for me. They helped me see myself reflected in them. I finally had some queer crew to hang out with, and so much gayness to soak in. I’d say that realization probably came around a year after I moved to San Francisco, when I spent my first Pride in the city. Maybe this is a serious ‘No shit, Sherlock’ statement, but being around lesbians made me realize I was a lesbian. In breaking up with me, he said, ‘I think you should date women.’Īdmitting he was right was scary, because then what did that mean about our whole time together? Was I a fucked up, selfish jerk who had strung this great guy along? Was I wrong about this most intimate aspect of my own damn self? I didn't want to think I could lack such crucial-and for most people, simple and basic-knowledge of myself. But it also became clear-to him long before it did to me-that I simply didn't want a sexual hetero relationship. I truly liked him a lot and I was attracted to him, but now I believe it was more in a general, ‘God put this person together quite nicely and it makes my aesthetic brain happy’ sort of way. The relationship I was in with a man from age 23 to 27 both propelled and hindered my sexuality journey.
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